Raising Kids

What do you do with a three year old that makes you want to pull your hair out and stomp your feet?

I am reading the book 'Bringing up boys' by James Dobson. Very good so far. In the first chapter he states that in general boys are harder to raise then girls but not all cases. Well based on my three years of parenting (not alot and I will probably say the opposite at a later time) our girl is much more difficult than our boy. She is so strong willed. And I don't mean slightly. I mean if you don't tie her shoes a certain way, fix her hair just right, lay the right clothes out, fix the right thing for breakfast, then she has a lay on the floor, scream and holler melt down. And she thinks she is never wrong. I can tie her shoe in a double knot like she asks, then she will argue that I didn't tie it in a knot. I mean seriously, would I lie to you? Get a grip. Last week we had major meltdowns everyday. She spent the night with my parents and mom told her she couldn't stay anymore until she could act nicer. It is that bad! What makes it even more frustrating is once she gets over it and moves on she is the sweetest kid you have ever seen. And I know she can act right b/c some mornings she wakes up on her own, dresses herself, is ready to eat anything, and says yes ma'am, and has a very pleasant attitude.

I think it is worse when she is tired and last week we didn't get to bed early enough probably. And I am trying a different approach. I call it EXTREME PATIENCE. This is a level of patience way above and beyond any normal level. While it took us 15 minutes to try and fix her hair the other day (b/c I had to brush it a certain number of times in a certain way) and pushed my patience we didn't have a major breakdown. Also if I can't do it the way she wants it, I am just not doing it. I tell her maybe Daddy can do it right or that maybe later she will be ready for me to try again but that I am not going to do it if that is how she is going to act. I don't know if this is good parenting or not, but we are just trying to get through this without her ruling over us and with us having some semblance of being in control and having our sanity. I know it is best for her to figure out now that she is not the boss and that she must respect authority. Overall we are just trying to discipline Biblically and balance the rod with instrucation and love and mostly pray that God will know our hearts and will straighten out what we mess up.

She has been better this week and has even had an ear infection. Who knows? I am sure next week will be different again. She really can be the sweetest most caring child. This is just an opportunity to learn more patience and teach her great lessons in life.

Thanks for letting me vent!

P.S. After mom had her this weekend, she told me that she remembers me acting this way.